No Way, You Want Me to Forgive that Person!

 READ THE TEXT: MATT 18.21-35

 

Two things stand out in this parable. One, we ought to forgive – 

 

Positive reason - because we have been forgiven so much. Forgiveness is redemptive! We have been forgiven by Christ an unlimited amount; can we not forgive others for a mere pittance of offense?

Eph 4.32:

And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

 

Negative reason - we ought to forgive, because if we don’t we’re going to be chastened. It’s a very strong word. And it’s to us.
 (As well, bitterness and resentment will be your tormentor and joyless days your tribute)

 

v21 Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

 

The Rabinic code was 3 x’s, Peter was generous, but Jesus introduced new math figure to Peters - Infinity.  70 x 7 = Infinity

 

Then, Jesus reverses infinite revenge with infinite forgiveness

 

Gen 4.15, 24

15 So the LORD said to him, “Therefore whoever kills Cain, vengeance will be taken on him sevenfold.” And the LORD appointed a sign for Cain, lest anyone finding him should slay him.

Lamech said to his wives…

24 If Cain is avenged sevenfold, Then Lamech seventy-sevenfold.”

 

V 24

10 Thousand Talents – Infinity - Unlimited - the most that can be said – unlimited – 

 $10 BOZO ZILLIONS – it would be clownish to think you can count that high.

 

26 “The slave therefore falling down, prostrated himself before him, saying, 

‘Have patience with me, and I will repay you everything.’

 

A normal response to God from a sinner under conviction from God – JUST BE PATIENT - I can repay!

 

Men do not ever see their true condition before GOD.

 

The point is, “NO YOU CAN’T PAY IT OFF”!!!!!

YOU MUST BE FORGIVEN!! Or you will pay the eternal price for your eternal debt.

 

IT IS OUR ONLY WAY OUT.

 

There must be a Declaration of God Himself to forgive you and then He Himself assumes the debt – a forensic, judicial, objective declaration of “Not Guilty – Free”:

 

2 Cor 5.21: He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

 

He treated Christ on the Cross as though He had lived my life and 

He treated me as though I had lived Christ’s Life.

 

Col 2.14: having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us and which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.

 

HE DECLARED ME RIGHTEOUS – PAID IN FULL – FORGIVEN OF INFINITE DEBT!!

 

v27  “And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.

 

AND, thus the Kings forgiveness was greater than the servants penitence.

The servant received far more than for what he was able to ask.

 

So far in the parable, the Kings compassion and forgiveness is on display more than the penitence of the debtor.

 

And because of that compassion, the servant should have showed it in like measure to his fellow servant.

 

LK 7. 40-48

40 And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he replied, “Say it, Teacher.”

 41 “A certain moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.

 42 “When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. Which of them therefore will love him more?”

 43 Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.” And He said to him, “You have judged correctly.”

 44 And turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears, and wiped them with her hair.

 45 “You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet.

 46 “You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume.

 47 “For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

 48 And He said to her, “Your sins have been forgiven.”

 

v. 28-30

“But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’

 29 “So his fellow slave fell down and began to entreat him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’

 30 “He was unwilling however, but went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.

A MORAL MONSTROSITY

 

Almost word for word the fellow servant said to the other.

 

And, then, the king hears of the wicked servant:

v.32 “Then summoning him, his lord *said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you entreated me.

 

33 ‘Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, even as I had mercy on you?’

34* “And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.

35* “So shall My heavenly Father also do to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”

 

Parallel verses:

 

Matt 6.12   (Personalize) Pretend you volunteer and come up before us and bring everyone in your family and everyone you’ve ever known that that you have held something against and then lead us in this prayer as you point to these:

Jesus, forgive me my sins, as I also have forgiven the sins against me of these around me.

Does anyone really want to Pray this??

 

Matt 6.14-15

For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

 

Matthew is not saying that we must first forgive others in order to be forgiven of God in the eternal forensic declarative sense. Because He first loved us:

1 Jn 4.19

We love, because He first loved us.

 

If you’re not forgiving, that’s your sinfulness vaulting itself into prominence.

And when you do that, you will cut yourself off from that relational forgiveness with God that makes the communion sweet. 

And if you see a lack of power, 

and you see a lack of depth in your spiritual life, 

you see a lack of hunger for God’s Word, 

a lack of love for the private place of prayer and communion, 

if you are missing the richness of your relationship with God, 

 

If you wonder why there’s trouble in your life, and you wonder why things aren’t going well, and you feel the tormentors in your life, 

you feel the pressure being applied, and 

the chastening being applied, and 

you don’t have the liberty, and the joy, and the freedom that you think you ought to have as a child of God, 

perhaps there is some unforgiving spirit. And as long as it’s there and you’re not forgiving the way you were forgiven by God, 

you’re not going to experience relief from these tormentors 

 

(WHO OR WHATEVER THEY MAY BE).

 

It may be because there’s a blockage there, and the Lord isn’t giving you that free flow of grace and forgiveness that brings sweet relationship with Him because you’ve got it blocked somewhere else with somebody else. 

 

Jn 13.10

Jesus said to him, “He who has bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.”

 

1 Jn 1.9

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

IGONORANCE IS NOT BLISS

 

So how does He proceed with Christians who are like the evil servant in Matt 18?

 

1. He withholds His Grace,

            Ps 66.18

            If I regard wickedness in my heart, The Lord will not hear;

            Heb 12.15

            See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of      bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;

 

2. He Disciplines them (Heb 12.4-13),

3. He causes weakness, sickness, and sleep (1 Cor 10.30)

 

If you’re not forgiving someone, the Lord will put you under chastening and, in a sense, He’ll put the screws to you – like a vice. He’ll apply the pressure to you until your response is right., “till he should pay all that was due.” 

 

He will apply the pressure to us until we admit our sin and confess our sin. And in this case, it is the sin of unforgiveness.


 

The parable teaching is a warning to all professing Christians; the real Christian evidences the fact that he is saved by heeding the warnings.

 

Let’s go into a personal and applicable realm of forgiveness…

 

When we forgive, we are relieved from bitterness, resentment, and we exercise biblical Christ like love. We are never more like Christ than when we forgive.

 

We are Cancelling out whatever debt we think someone owes us.

 

Today’s “forgiveness” looks more like this (but it’s really unforgiveness):

 

 

Today= I am offended, but I’m not going to blow up at you, but I’m going to punish you – I’m going to make you pay:

Unforgiveness Looks like this

 

I forgive you, but…

 

            *Depriving another person of my time and attention – don’t want to be            around you – I’m just not going to speak to you I’m making you pay!”–

 

            *Husband and wife - Withholding affection. That is punitive 

            I’m making you pay!”

 

            *Depriving honor and respect to parents – you’ve lost that a long time ago       after what you did  I’m making you pay!”–

 

            *Depriving children of inheritance I’m making you pay!”–

 

            *Refusing to acknowledge achievements or occasions (b-days, anniversaries, etc.) in others’ lives – 

my mother, father, brother, sister ..they were mean to me they …weren’t good parents, so… no pictures of grandkids “I’m making you pay!”– no card, phone call on b-days, rejecting gifts, 

“You’ve got a card – from your mother, ‘Throw it away”. 

“You’ve got a gift – it’s from your sister, “Throw it away, she’s just feeling guilty – I don’t want that”

 

SUMMING>>>>

            *Rejoicing when others fall into hardship, “She’s got cancer, serves her right”

 

            *Not recognizing the other person even lives

 

            *Not going to call you

 

            *Rejecting gifts – card from someone, throw it away

 

            *Rejoicing in the suffering of someone else- you’ve got cancer happy

 

Eph 4.32 Disobedience to forgive is sin and you are sinning because someone sinned against you.

This is more of what unforgiveness looks like…

 

*Not forgiving believers you are saying to Jesus…

“I know you died on the cross to forgive what that guy did to me, but I require more. “Jesus your death on the cross is not enough, not good enough … they need your death on the cross plus the silent treatment from me

 

*The death of Christ is not enough – I step on the cross. They not only need Your death, but they also need the silent treatment from me.

 

*Against unbelievers – They will suffer an eternity in hell… but, I am saying that “Your wrath is not enough… they need an eternity in hell, plus me not taking their phone calls.   “Plus, me … gossiping against them, disregarding their existence, not helping when I could….

 

Now the scales will be balanced because I got my pound of flesh.

 

The one who is really paying is ME – “not forgiving someone else is like me drinking the poison and hoping the other person dies”

 

Joseph said God sent me here for redemption – preservation life, greater and particularly of Judah’s life and it started back in Gen 3.15 preservation of the seed to come

            

Sidebar: Forgiveness is bigger than you and me. We always look at life as though it’s all about ME, when in fact it is about generations beyond.

 

(Personify the future: Future Providence (involves you) - it looks back a decade, a few decades maybe a couple of generations and awaits your flow of mercy to a particular individual or to a family of individuals…

 

The FLOW OF REDEMPTION…

The Redeemer was promised in Gen 3.15…

Seed of the woman - Cain killed Able – Seth -ch5 there were 10 generations to Noah – Shem- Tara - Abraham – Isaac – and then Jacob. 

Then the second born from Leah – was Judah then 12 sons Judah from the wife he didn’t love not from his loved wife - Rachel. 

Joseph was hated and enslaved, imprisoned and estranged for 2 decades.

He was preserved so that Judah would be preserved to someday have a son named David who would someday have a son named Jesus who would be the Redeemer – It was because Joseph looked at his circumstances in this manner that life was preserved and the seed was preserved and that we have a Redeemer. Forgiveness was bigger than the offense done to Joseph – and so it could be for you. Think that this single act of forgiveness could affect generations beyond you.

 

Rom12.19 we do not avenge ourselves, vengeance is His, I don’t take care of this.

The person who sinned against you  is ultimately a sin against God. Who am I to think that I need to be avenged – who do I think I am – God will handle it. My hypocrisy. His sin against me is so little, my sin against God so great!!

Vengeance is mine says God 

God will take care of that. Who do I think I am that I would Look at his sin and miss my own?

Gen 45

Myths

 

MYTH #1. –

You can only forgive if they must ask for forgiveness …

 

His Brothers didn’t even know Joseph existed, but Joseph forgave them - WHEN did he forgive them? I think all along. He had a forgiving heart toward them. And, as time went on, he began to see for what purpose this great offense took place that was not really a great offense, but a great a REDEMPTION.

 

v.5 

“And now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.

 

I think he lived a forgiving life all the way along 2 decades.

 

*Josephs life was a brief display of Matt 18.

 

How about people who have died, and we’ve hated them because of some great or small offense – high on the rector scale or not even a blip on the worlds radar – either way, they can’t ask you to forgive them – they’re dead. Just keep drinking poison hope they die – again.

 

FORGIVENESS DOESN’T NEED TO BE ASKED FOR IN ORDER FOR YOU TO BE FORGIVING

 

How about Jesus on the cross, “Father, forgive them… because they asked” NO. 

For they don’t even know what they’ve have done.

 

MYTH #2. –

Forgiveness requires forgetting 

 

Gen 45.4,5

4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come closer to me.” And they came closer. And he said, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt.

5 “And now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.

 

Joseph reminded them of their sin 

Humans were not meant to forget but God forgets or else there is something wrong with us. I remember what you did but I’m going to forgive you…

 

45.4 Remember me, your brother whom you sold into slavery. Joseph had not forgotten what they had done to him.  Forgiveness does not require forgetting. We weren’t created to forget. When we forget, we have a medical problem. 

The beauty of forgiveness is that I remember, and I forgive you. God is the one who blocks and forgets sins, not us.

 

V5 

“And now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.

 

He didn’t even want them to feel bad about what they had done…not even a little hint of remorse. He didn’t require any repentance. He wanted or wished NO burden of sorrow on them.

 

How about us???? When we are offended….

 

V9-10 

9 “Hurry and go up to my father, and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph,” God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not delay.

10 “And you shall live in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children and your flocks and your herds and all that you have.

 

In fact, he wanted them to be NEAR him and even wanted them to thrive. TO Have my best.

 

That is what we have in Christ – we sin, we despise and reject Him, and He dies for us and then goes to a place and says he wants us to be with him there forever!

 

MYTH #3  

Forgiveness and reconciliation are linked together!

 

There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.

I can forgive you and you not even know about it.

You can still be wretched, but I forgive you.

Now I can forgive you and you can still be bad. 

Forgiveness doesn’t require reconciliation.

 

FORGIVENESS IS GOD-SIZED, IMPOSSIBLE, UNBELIEVABLE… BUT HE DOES

THE IMPOSSIBLE…

OFFENSES that seem impossible are possible. HIS FORGIVENESS IS NOT ONLY GOOD FOR THE EASY STUFF… IT IS FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE STUFF…

 

*Infidelity 

*The parent who was abusive – 

*The one who molested – I feel guilty because I can’t forget what they’ve done to me (Remember, forgiveness Does not require forgetting) and I can’t disregard your behavior and I have a young child. It doesn’t mean that you can’t be careful around you. A forgiving spirit will find a way to be free from hate, bitterness, and resentfulness.

 

Forgiveness will find a way to stop saying, “I will punish you in everyway”

 

Remember from above, we forgive because we have been forgiven. If someone will not forgive you and they refuse to forgive you, then it is an indication that they themselves have never been forgiven. You are dealing with an unbeliever who will not forgive because forgiveness is a God-thing of whom they do not know. Ask their forgiveness if they refuse then you have done all you can do. You cannot make their heart of stone a heart of flesh. Only the redeemed desire to forgive. Move on and leave them to God all along have a heart of forgiveness toward them. You are free.

 

MYTH #4  

Forgiveness doesn’t make everything better

 

If forgiveness made everything better, then we wouldn’t find it mandated all over the Bible again and again and again….

Why? because we are sinners and together, we compound our sin, and we always sin against the other. 

We must be constantly forgiving or else we are constantly being embittered.

 

Whether in our Marriage, with our siblings, parents, children, co-workers, Professors or former friends or enemies, whether in church or not…

There is ongoing forgiveness or piled up Bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment. 

It’s one or the other…

 

Instead of I didn’t call him, send him cards, visit, return calls… and when they die you can’t. 

The opportunity to forgive is never gone by looking at the cross and then turning it outward. 

Because of what Christ has done, I can do that today.

 

Christ has that as a reality for you it’s the only reality that makes since. It is impossible to hold onto bitterness and resentment because of what Christ has done.

 

That’s why there is 70x7 we must constantly be forgiving…

 

If we are not characterized by forgiveness, it means we are characterized by resentment and ongoing piled up bitterness.

 

He can save us from the poisonous venom of unforgiveness.

 

 

Jesus paid it all

CONCLUSION

 

Why do I forgive?

*1. It’s who I am now in Christ. Because I have been forgiven and I can’t help but to forgive. It is my new life to forgive. I have no other choice, and this is the best choice.

 

I breathe in Grace and I exhale mercy.

 

Eph 4.32 forgiveness is rooted in redemption “as God forgave me in Christ”

 

*2. Because IF my life is not characterized by a forgiving spirit,

It is characterized by a bitter and resentful spirit because I am always sinned against in a sinful world.

 

*3. And if I am unforgiving, then I have a blockage with God and grace is thin and life is hard.

 

Forgiveness is a one-way street for me.

There is no other way for me…I have no other alternate route and there is no U-Turn on this route.

 

WE DON’T WANT THIS GRACE TO STOP

WE WANT TO BREATHE IN HIS GRACE AND EXHALE HIS MERCY

 

*4. When I forgive someone for a valid offense to me, it does not let them off the hook. I give that to God, totally. And when I forgive “that” person, then someone is set free…and that someone is ME.

 

He Giveth More Grace (Annie Flint) 1800’s

 

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,

He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;

To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,

To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

 

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources

Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

 

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,

Our God ever yearns His resources to share;

Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;

The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

 

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,

His power no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.